Churn
The four D’s
Distraction
Adults attentionspan has shrunken to ~47 seconds according to studies.
Our brains evolved to focus on one thing while attuned to the environment, modern bombardment of notifications and multitasking drain us, each context switch at a time. Our ability to focus in any kind of relationship or for solving complex issues is drastically affected by this.
It leads to disengagement.
Erodes capacity to connect/bond
Disengagement You don’t feel an emotional connection or interest anymore as lack of attention leads to purpose being harder to “find”.
Quiet quitting
Leads to disconnection
Disconnection With no shared purpose or identity, communities fall apart.
An insight is that in today’s overly connected society through technology, a large amount of us are more disconnected than ever from others.
Disconnection leads to distrust.
Distrust
Fills gaps of something or others with judgmental thoughts and assumptions. Other people become opponents to overcome.
At some point echo-chambers of distrust forms, creating a sense of tribalism fueled by distrust.
Primal instincts wants bonds and shared stories. ⇐ Empathy, shared stories and struggles to repair through deliberate actions
Modern mindset lean into control and manipulation.
What comes next and what can we hold onto as an anchor?
Don’t wait for external factors to reward you.
Leave tracks for those who follow that goes beyond personal achievements.
In the churn it’s easy to loose sight of these bigger things.
Cultivate the ability to align what you do with what matters to you, your values. It’s not about grandness but rather intrinsic value for the world.
Reflect on the role of technology in your life, be mindful of what time it steals from you. Digital detox could be an option, if not for a day then for a few hours to get a sense of what one is loosing when stuck to technology.
Movement → Meaning, physical activity and movement frees your mind to explore new ideas and leading to feeling refreshed.
Emotional temperature determine if attempts to bridge the gaps caused by churn can succeed or not.
Understand how emotional temperature affect situations.
Higher temp, higher probability to act on instinct rather than logic.
Designed to react and protect from dangers such as predators.
Limits our capabilities to communicate clearly and/or consider other perspectives that our own.
- Self-regulation
- Breathing
- Mindfullness
- Staying composed sets the tone for others to match
He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Unchecked emotional intensity brings you down.
Great leaders shape and mold conversations to regular the emotional temperature of a conversation.
- Pause before talking, add air in between
- Deliver criticism as questions rather than statements
- Relaxing environment
Does not mean suppressing feelings.
How do we break through and build trust? → Storytelling
Storytelling is a tool to form bonds. Bonds leads to trust.
Humans are the storytelling animal. Our brains craves it as it makes sense of the crazy world with them.
Fosters empathy, understanding and will to take action.
Stories work best when focused on the listener. When the listener can relate to the story it grabs hold of them.
Which stories you decide to tell and the ones you choose to hear, shape the world around you.
Can cause
Doubt → Belief Apathy → Action Isolation → Unity
True leadership from scars, something most leaders avoid to expose.
Leadership isn’t keeping up a facade of excellence.
When leaders are honest about scars and show vulnerability, they cause a profound shift in social dynamics.
Vulnerability is a social glue and a possible remedy for churn.
Talking about fears does not isolate you but rather invite others in. Leads to real conversations and connections rather than transactional exchanges.
Scar generosity is not about dumping trauma or getting pity. But to open up a social dynamic. Require a skill to express in a good way and the stories must be relevant for the audience. Framed to have others struggles reflected in you.
Leading through churn means facing it all together, scars and all.